Getting engaged is one of life’s brightest moments… until the realization hits: Where do we even start?
If you’re feeling a mix of excitement and overwhelm, you’re in good company. Wedding planning is a big undertaking, especially in popular regions like Rhode Island and coastal New England, where dates and venues book quickly. But with the right foundation, this process can feel grounded, enjoyable, and – dare we say…fun!

Here’s a clear, stress-free roadmap to help you start strong.

1. Start with a Wedding Planner (If You Plan to Use One)

If you know you want a wedding planner involved, this should be your very first step. A planner helps you understand what’s realistic for your vision, draft a thoughtful budget, and guide you through venue and vendor vetting with strategy (and sanity).

Beginning with a planner ensures every decision that follows—financial, logistical, or design-related—is aligned with your priorities, not just the Pinterest rabbit hole or well-meaning outside opinions.

And yes, at Eventlightenment Planning, this is one of our favorite stages, turning that early excitement into a clear, confident plan.

2. If You’re Planning Without a Planner: Start with Budget + Guest List

Your guest count and financial comfort zone shape just about everything else. Before you tour a venue, book a photographer, or fall in love with a floral arch, outline:

• Your ideal total budget
• The number of guests you hope to invite
• The vendors or elements that matter most to you

This helps ensure your decisions are grounded, intentional, and aligned with what feels right for you, not what the internet says you “should” do. It also prevents one category from consuming your entire budget before you’ve even begun.

3. Research Venues and Narrow Down to Top Contenders

Venue research is where couples often feel the most pressure, especially in high-demand locations across Rhode Island or other destination wedding hubs. Start by choosing three venues that match your style and logistics. Tour those first, then reassess.

If none feel quite right, choose three more, but try to keep each round small and manageable. Touring twelve venues at once only adds to the overwhelm and muddies your instincts.

Remember: you’re choosing the backdrop for your story, not trying to win the “most research completed” award.

Check out our blog on How to Choose the Perfect Wedding Venue here

4. Secure Your Date, Then Begin Vendor Outreach

Once your venue is booked, your planning timeline officially begins. From there, you can start researching and inquiring with vendors, photographers, caterers (if applicable), florists, musicians, and beyond.

Interview every vendor you’re considering, whether or not you have a planner. Style and pricing matter, but personality plays a surprisingly large role. You’ll spend significant time communicating with your team while planning – and on your wedding day, so feeling connected, comfortable, and understood is everything.

5. Gather Inspiration to Shape Your Design Direction

After booking your vendors, shift your attention to overall style. Instead of going deep into mood boards or hyper-specific palettes right away, keep your inspiration high-level: tone, vibe, color families, guest experience, and anything that reflects who you are as a couple.

This early vision helps guide your design-driven vendors and ensures your celebration feels cohesive, intentional, and reflective of your story, not a collage of trends.

6. Aim for a 12–18 Month Planning Window

While weddings can absolutely be planned in shorter timeframes, giving yourself 12–18 months provides:

• A better chance of booking preferred vendors
• More availability for coveted dates
• Space to make thoughtful choices rather than reactive ones

Timeline pressure is one of the biggest stressors couples face, especially when they begin too late. Starting early gives you freedom, options, and a far calmer planning experience.

7. Don’t Forget the Key Milestones Along the Way

Once the major decisions are made, you can settle into a more relaxed cadence. Still, there are important checkpoints:

12 Months Out:

• Book accommodations/room blocks
• Start dress or suit shopping

9 Months Out:

• Refine design direction
• Confirm preliminary rental orders

Around 6 Months Out:

• Schedule your catering tasting
• Design your invitation suite

3 Months Out:

• Finalize design with vendors
• Confirm ceremony details
• Refine your draft timeline

1–2 Months Out:

• Hold final calls with your vendor team

While this isn’t an exhaustive list, these benchmarks keep you on track without feeling buried under a never-ending to-do list.

Ready for a Planning Experience That Feels Calm, Clear, and Supported?

If you want a partner in the process, someone to bring structure, strategy, and heart to your planning journey, Eventlightenment Planning is here to guide you from the very beginning.

Your wedding planning experience can be joyful. It can be grounded. It can even be relaxing.
You just need the right support from the start.